Have you read Momastery? It’s a blog. It’s a community. It’s a wonderful world full of love. Started by someone amazing and sustained by all sorts of other amazings. You should read it. You really should. But, not until you’re done reading this. 😉
At any rate, Glennon at Momastery just wrote a “new beginnings” post that sent me hunting for my own past. She talked about those “25 Things About Me” posts all of us were doing WAY back in the day (like 4 or 5 years ago). She talked about believing that she’d done it WRONG … about being terrified because she’d revealed way more about herself than she had anticipated … about being vulnerable and wanting to curl up and die after being vulnerable. But something amazing happened … her vulnerability opened up the world to her. It opened up her friends’ ability to talk to her … to see her … to love her.
So, she reviewed her old “25 Things” and created, as a by-product, her new “26 Things.”
I loved her post. I loved her idea. So, I’m stealing. Call me a copycat, whatever. But, I promise … this is much harder on me than it will be on you.
My originals from January 2009 are plain text. New 2013 comments follow in bold. So, who am I in 2013? Read on friends. Read on.
1. I had to be tagged by multiple people before I would do this list.
Just one person spurred me to do it this time. Reflection is becoming second nature to me … it’s part of that not-so-new but oh-so-authentic self I’m becoming. Love it or hate it … I LIVE IT.
2. I have an unusual fear of homeless people.
Woah. Big change here. Remember this post?
3. I hate to talk on the phone. I even make my husband call to order pizza because I loathe talking to the random pizza person.
This is hysterical. I still hate talking on the phone. Yet, my new career path sort of requires it of me. I coach people over the phone. And … it doesn’t bother me. I’ll actually pick up the phone and call people to *- gasp * – resolve issues now!!! I realize that one of the things I used to fear most about phone conversation – SILENCE – is nothing to fear. I suppose I used to be worried that I couldn’t distract the person I’m talking to from the inane comments coming out of my mouth with funny faces or gestures if we’re talking on the phone. Turns out I’m still good at distracting others with my inanity. Crazy always wins.
4. I will go out of my way to avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk.
With NO urging from me, my youngest daughter (the “copycat” depicted in this post) is the same way! She jumps over all the cracks. I’m thinking this was/is part of my inner child. I will continue to avoid “stepping on a crack” so that I don’t “break my mother’s back.” No need to tempt fate … plus it gives me an opportunity to sing Whip It by Devo on a regular basis.
5. Repetitive noises drive me so insane that I will rock back and forth until they go away. My husband has accused me of being autistic as a result.
The constant screaming of children has *almost* cured me of this. I will still get all crazy-eyes about it and look around for the sound … but now my OCD is focused on reuniting ALL THE PIECES of various toys strewn around the house into their previous wholes. It’s a lot more productive than rocking back and forth until the noise goes away.
6. I can bowl like a madwoman on the Wii. I cannot bowl to save my life in a real bowling alley.
I have not bowled on the Wii or in an alley lately. Tangent topic about bowling: My oldest daughter just turned 6. She had a bowling birthday party. One of the little boys in attendance bowled a 117! I was sufficiently impressed to tell his dad, “Hey — your white trash is showing.” Yeah. Open mouth. Insert foot.
7. I’m scared to death that my daughter will turn out to be just like me.
Ok. First things first. That’s plural now. DaughterS. But I’m not afraid any more. I want them to be just like themselves. And if that includes a little bit of me? Well, then that’s just perfect because that’s what they are. Perfect. And, frankly, I’m more than a little bit like my mom … and she’s pretty badass. So, obviously “ending up like your mom” isn’t necessarily a death sentence. My husband may beg to differ.
8. Every few months I go through a complete anti-social phase where all I want to do is sit at home and wallow in loneliness.
Still true. But, I understand now that it’s not wallowing. It’s rejuvenating. It’s removing me from the social constructs I used to think were required of me. It’s about returning to my authenticity. And I actually relish this time now.
9. I think my dog is the coolest animal I’ve ever met. He really is my first child.
This post was written BEFORE my “Random 25” … reposted by me recently … and is STILL TRUE. He recently went through a rather terrifying situation that resulted in him having his gall bladder removed. It just reminded me how much he means to me. Although, my husband and I have concocted an AWESOME “dog shaming” idea focused on all of this … so stay tuned. (Check out that website when you need a giggle or guffaw. It’s AWESOME).
10. I could eat ice cream every meal, every day for the rest of my life.
It it so weird that I wrote that because I actually have no memory of every feeling that way! But, apparently on January 26, 2009 I did. Huh. Imagine that. Anyway, NOW? Ick. No way. I would be so sick. I could eat NOTHING that frequently any more. Except maybe a green smoothie. Or wine. That’s not to say that I’m so much healthier than I was then … just that my outlook has changed. Plus, I’ve given up sweets for Lent. So that’s at least 40 days in which I won’t be having any ice cream.
11. I don’t work out to feel healthy, I work out so I can eat whatever I want.
Wow. Another big change. Now, all I want to do is be healthy. My eating is in no way tied to exercise any more. I’m gonna eat whether I’m working out or not … so working out has to be about healthy now!
12. I played rugby in college because I had “anger management” issues. Condoned hitting of other people seemed to really help.
This time, when my “anger management” issues surfaced, I went on Prozac and started seeing a therapist. Worked just as effectively as rugby did. The amazing thing … I’m off Prozac. I’ve learned tools to manage when I fly of the handle … and they work (when I use them). So, it’s all about being in your NOW, I think, and going with what works.
13. I hate the military, but I use it to define myself and find myself slipping into that mode whenever I don’t know what to do or say to people I don’t know.
I don’t hate the military any more. I acknowledge its large and loving part in creating who I am and WHY I am.
14. I hate doing laundry. I don’t mind doing dishes.
Still. True. But I’ve learned to manage my hatred. Sort of.
15. Being a stay at home mom is the best job I’ve ever had.
This was a lie. I wanted people to believe this was true — but it clearly wasn’t because look at #17 below. Incongruous, yes? Maybe not … but this one needs quite a bit of revision. I don’t see my staying home with the kids as a “job” any more. It was my WAY OF LIFE. That’s what caused me anger, feelings of depletion, depression, sadness. No. Not helpful. Being a mom (and being blessed enough to stay home to do it) is just part of WHO I AM. It’s not my job … it’s PART of me. The next best thing to being a mom? Being a life coach. Seriously. It’s not only saved me, but enabled me to help other people learn to save themselves. And that … that’s amazeballs.
16. I wanted to be a lawyer my whole life. Then, when I was one, I hated it.
True ’nuff. But, much like the military, it’s part of who I am and WHY I am too. So, I love it from that perspective.
17. I think I’m the kind of person that will always find something wrong with any job I’m in.
Well, yeah. But that’s because I was trying to shove myself into a mold that was no fit for me!! Not any more. At this point in my life, it has come down to finding out what’s RIGHT instead of finding out what’s WRONG. Such a better way to live.
18. I’ll try any food once. Even if it’s totally disgusting.
Still true. Bring it on folks.
19. My favorite color is red.
20. I was born in the Chinese Year of the Tiger. All of the descriptions I’ve read of tigers is spot on.
Still true. I believe that the Tiger is my totem. It’s the beast within me that sustains me when my human self just can’t any longer. Coolest books along this line, that I’m reading right now? The Jane Yellowrock series by Faith Hunter. F U N.
21. I wish I was as smart as my husband.
Still true. But only sort of. Now I’m finally beginning to believe that I really AM just as smart as him … if not smarter … in a different way. Sure he can draw chemical structures off the top of his head and quote something he’s read years ago. I can do cool stuff too. 😉
22. I’ve tried writing a novel at least 3 times. I’ve got the ideas and the time — I just don’t have the attention span.
Lie. I’m investigating this phenomenon of mine pretty consistently now. Cool new resource for overcoming your book writing challenges? Angela Lauria – The Author Incubator. I know her through my training with the Martha Beck Life Coach training program. She’s the real deal people. I’m going through her free resources right now, but when money and my mind align … I’m hiring her to take me all the way. Mark my words.
23. I sometimes wonder why my friends are friends with me.
Lie. Big lie. I KNOW why they’re friends with me. Because I love them. And they love me. Because I have superpowers. Because THEY have superpowers. I don’t doubt my worth any more. That’s so awesome.
24. I think I’m lucky. My mom calls me “her lucky” because she swore I brought her luck when she used to play bingo.
I don’t think I’m lucky any more. I KNOW I AM. Luck boils down to two things for me: HOPE and FORGIVENESS. I have faith — I hope — that things will turn out perfect. When they don’t? I forgive. I forgive others, I forgive situations, and most of all I forgive myself. So, I’m crazy lucky to have these traits innate in me. HOPE and FORGIVENESS have led me to being able to make my own luck.
25. I wish alcohol didn’t have calories.
Still true. But, now I don’t CARE if it has calories. I love it and it loves me.
So, what’s random about you? Inquiring minds wanna know …..