Yesterday was a really big day for me. This milestone probably passed by each of you quietly. In fact, you might not have even known about it at all. Lucky you, I’m going to tell you all about it:
Yesterday was my last day as a “student” in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training Program.
I signed up for training to become a Life Coach in May 2012. Somewhat interesting side story: I got the word that I was “accepted” while on a trip to China. I called Craig from a hotel room in Shanghai (I think — it all kind of blurred together) … “Honey, how comfortable are you with me spending an exorbitant amount of money to pursue what *might* be awesome for me, even though I don’t really know, but I’m feeling drawn to do it …. OH and I realize that I’m all the way on the other side of the world … AND I’ve got to make a decision in the next day or so?!” He awesomely sifted through all of my freakishness and said, “DO IT.” Thank goodness. But, I digress….
I started the class in June 2012 … and it all culminated YESTERDAY. A lot of my classmates shared beautiful sentiments on Facebook … either as their status updates or on the forum we “Junies” congregated in for the last 10 months. I took it all in. I loved the love. I “liked” their posts to my heart’s content. I made passing comments. But for myself, I was relatively silent.
Strange for me, no? Actually, if you know me, that’s downright scary. Jenn, silent? Am I ok? Am I sick? Am I angry? My silence used to be an indication of the storm to follow. But a lot of me has changed over the last year. I started this journey to remake myself into someone who could help others remake themselves. In that process I discovered a deep well within myself that is SO OVERFLOWING WITH SILENCE that I can barely stand it. And this is the good kind of silence. The kind that you bask in. The kind that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and cozy. I had never known that silence before. Oddly enough, that silence makes me want to jump up and down and WHOOP! with joy at the top of my lungs. (So much for me being silent.)
I also now realize that I have this space inside me for a reason. Discovering your life’s calling is a very interesting journey.
You look back, with the power of hind sight, and realize “Oh yeah … so that’s why things happened that way.”
And you look forward, with the power of foresight, and realize “Oh yeah … so that’s what my future may look like.”
And you look to the present, with your open eyes and open heart, and realize, “Oh yeah. THIS. THIS is what I’m here to do.”
So, I’m here to claim it. I’m ready for new clients … and I think they’re ready for me.
Just so’s you know: YOU have that well within you too. Peace and stillness? You don’t need to go looking for it. It’s within you. That’s fantastical place where you feel ultimate acceptance and love, where even your harshest critics can do nothing but smile in your general direction? Yeah, you know it: It’s YOU.
The thing is, it’s easy to get lost in all the coulda, shoulda, woulda (c-s-w) talk. I’ve been there. I was the Queen of C-S-W. If you need proof, I can show you my crown of achievements growing dusty in the corner. So how do you get yourself out when you’re surrounded by a forest of what you could be doing, should be doing or would be doing if ….
Well, that’s where I come in. I know this now. I’m a guide OUT of C-S-W. I’m a park ranger that finds you after you’ve been lost for hours/days/years/decades in the forest of your could be doing, should be doing, and would be doing if trees. I help you realize that the quest for more titles and more glory and more achievement … well, it’s nice and all, but only if you can give yourself the gift of truly ENJOYING what you’ve accomplished. We’re so focused on going forward, that we forget to review the past to see if we’ve done this before. And even more importantly, we forget to look at our own feet … to examine the path that we are on NOW to see where we’re going.
This might sound like pure bunk to you. If so, I urge you to tap into your inner silence and let others be who they are. If you’re intrigued or even slightly fascinated at what you might consider to be my downward spiral? Or even better — if what you’ve read scares you to death because you see nothing but the endless forest? Just DO something. And if that something might include me … well that’s frickin awesome.