Don’t Know What To Say?

*NOTE:  This is from my March 23 Newsletter.  I’m working to merge the content that I send people on my list and my blog so that it’s memorialized.  Thanks for your patience while I do this!
One of the coolest things about being on social media is seeing all the pictures on Facebook of people with MY book in THEIR hands.  There is no better reward for an author … well, THIS author … than to see that people are reading and enjoying my book.  I mean, how can a photo series like the one above NOT make you smile?
(That’s Nate, by the way.  He’s demonstrating his thrill at finally finding out why she was acting so weird. He’s a TOTALLY talented photographer/videographer and all around good guy.  Visit his Facebook page:  The Vine Productions.)
Despite all of the outpouring of support and love and pride, I know that there are people out there that just don’t know what to say to me.

You might be shaking your head upon reading that.  But it’s true.  It’s not that they aren’t proud or happy or impressed.  It’s not that they begrudge me success.  It’s not that they don’t care.

They just don’t know what to say.
And, frankly, this phenomenon is one of the reasons why I wrote Why is She Acting So Weird? in the first place.  I mean, the entirety of Chapter Five is about what to say or do when you don’t know what to say or do.  While the focus for the book was what to say during a crisis – the principles that are peppered throughout the book apply to anytime when you don’t know what to do or say.
So, what can you do when you don’t know what to say to someone?  It’s pretty simple.  Start with:
“I don’t know what to say.”
Huh?  Say what?  I know you’re thinking I’ve finally lost the last remnants of my mind, but I haven’t.  Let me explain.

Just yesterday I got an e-mail from someone that I haven’t heard from in quite some time.  Amidst some very flattering text about how proud and happy she was for me was buried this sentence:

“I’ve been sitting at my laptop for the past 15 minutes typing and deleting parts of this email because I just don’t know how to express how damn happy I am for you.”
This stood out to me.  When I read that sentence I put my hand over my heart and made an “awwww” sound that’s usually reserved for cute puppies or funny kitty videos.  This sentence was (and still is) SO touching to me.
Why?!  It’s not that the rest of the e-mail wasn’t meaningful to me.  Having a friend profess their pride and happiness is lovely.  But, having a friend really open up their heart to tell me EXACTLY what they’re feeling at that moment?  Well — that’s unparalleled.  That’s how you connect.

We don’t tell each other the absolute truth of our emotions, though, because we’ve been taught that raw TRUTH is bad and should be hidden.  We’re instructed to carefully craft our truth – managing and molding and manipulating until it’s pretty and presentable.

But in reality, TRUTH lies in the present moment … in what is in your heart right now.  Truth is naturally a thing of beauty — even when it’s hard or ugly.  When you share those parts of you that are a little uncomfortable or hidden, that is when you’re revealing the true you.  And that’s the you that your friends want to access.

So, I have a task for you:  reach out to a friend this week.  Tell them what you’re thinking at the time you’re thinking it. Don’t be surprised if that simple action brings you and your friend closer to each other than ever.  Click any of the links at the bottom of this newsletter to connect and let me know how it goes!


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